My wife delivered our fifth child on Monday, July 8, 2003 at 2.39 pm, Klinik Wanita AzZahrah, Bangi and this is my experience…..
We have just sent our daughter to school and anxiously drove to the clinic that is nearby in Bangi. The feeling of becoming a father for the fifth time did not seem to ‘sink in’ me yet. But I was thinking hard as I was driving, well within the speed limit, my standard driving speed ever since my wife was four months pregnant. The thought was, ‘probably this is going to be our last child and we have to do it properly’. I mean learning from the experience of raising four kids you bound to learn one or two and you have to do better for this one. The truth is it is not going to be that easy as it has been 8 years for both of us. Can we do this again? That was the question not very far from both of us. I was in fact more worried about my wife, as very soon she had to do the hard part with minimal help from me.
We got to the clinic five minutes to 8 am and straight away went up to the second floor to register and in ten minutes we were already in our room, Siti Umairah, to wait for the doctor. In the mean time the nurses were making themselves useful on my wife. At 9 am the Dr Fatimah came and her assessment was, because of my wife’s age, we should induce the delivery – we?, I thought I have already done my part, the reason my wife was there in the first place was due to my induction…LOL. The Dr said the contraction was minimal so we had to induce my wife by administering a pill inside her. The first one would normally take effect after three hours. If nothing happened she’d take another one and another three hours and if everything still the same after that she’ll take the final one. If that failed after another three hours it’s going to be caesarean. With that words it brought shiver through my spine. I straightaway said my silence prayers – Ya Allah please bless this one with the most wonderful experience for us.
But the Dr had to confirm whether the procedure was required and started to explore my wife. After few minutes she said there was already a 2 cm opening so it meant no induction but proceed to the labour room. What caught my attention were the sacrifice and the suffering – rather the jihad that my wife went through to deliver another human being to this world. I was silently praying for her and I could not possibly understand or felt how she felt going through all that and that was only the beginning. The first level of pain and hardship that she had to go through and more to come.
We were in the labour room at the 1st floor of the building at 9.20 am my wife was relax a bit and the contraction became a bit regular but not extensive. The nurse started to put my wife on drips as the water level had decreased. Not long my wife was in pain periodically due to the contractions. Seeing her like that I could only imagine, how ever how hard I felt it was not the same as my wife’s predicament. The pain began to be so unbearable for my wife that we decided to do an epidural procedure. I’d heard about it but I was not sure what it was. Another Dr, Dr Rohaya was called to carry out the procedure. Unfortunately the Dr was attending to another patient so we had to wait. The long wait took it toll on me and I was suffering inside looking at my wife. To ease the pain I decided to read but I could not concentrate much.
Dr Rohaya finally came at 11.30 am and started to gently poke my wife again to find out whether she still could apply the procedure on my wife. She discovered there is still time so immediately she started on the procedure. Dr Rohaya began to explain about the procedure and the effect of it and we consented. I tell you I was really worried for my wife as the procedure was just like a spinal procedure and I know how painful that is. Thanks to Allah the Dr used anesthetics (sp betul ke ni?). Basically the procedure started with the Dr applying the anesthetics just next to the spine above the hip. Then, the Dr used a 6 inches catheter (spelling?) pushed it slowly inside, my jaw was clamped tight when I saw this, once the thing about quarter through the Dr slowly pushed in a small tube for the medicine to go through and a long small tube was left hanging out of my wife’s back and connected to the drip system. The tube was nicely taped horizontally up my wife’s back and came out over her shoulder. At that moment my wife had one drip on her hand and another tube stuck out of her back. I do not know about you but seeing her like that I could not understand how some husbands could treat their wife like dirt or shit. I was humbled by that experience I took things for granted sometimes now I know I love my wife even more. In ten minutes the medicine took effect and my wife began to relax. She told me that she almost felt nothing during contraction, later that proved to be my misgiving, and we enjoyed the wait together. In the mean time the nurse monitored my wife’s contraction through the machine. We waited for almost two hours and I got bored. The labour room was not out of this world in terms of setting but it was soothing and relaxing. This was being enhanced by the Quran recital played by the nurse. Soon after we heard the azan from the nearby mosque and I have to decide whether I should go out and pray first or wait. I do not have to wait long to decide. The nurse checked my wife and informed us that the opening was already 8 cm. So I thought it took two hours for the 6 cm and I figured my wife should take another two hours to deliver. I decided to say my Zohor and went out.
After I said my prayer I walked into the labour room smiling, the door was opened so I thought my wife was still waiting. I was so eager to witness the miracle of birth and that I was overjoyed with the anticipation. But, I was in for a surprise, I was wrong as I approached the bed walked around the curtain I saw my wife was already in her position to deliver and Dr Fatimah was in the midst of stitching her up. Dr Fatimah said they had just finished and the baby was being washed in the next room. At that point in time I was the most frustrated father in the world. I was happy that everything went well but I was really sad that I could not witness my daughter being born. My first thought was this could not be the last one and we have to have another. However, when I saw my wife in agony and very tired I cursed myself for being selfish. I looked at her and thanked Allah for everything.
Four times in my life I watched miracle happening with my own eyes and somehow this one is extra special. As I approached my daughter her eyes were already opened wide and she looked straight at me. I smiled and the joy inside of me could not be explained. I was really happy to see her and started to takbir and recite salawat into her ears. I called out her name, Fatimah Mardhiyah, and I was very sure I saw she smiled. Still grinning from ear to ear I picked her up and started to azan her. Then I told her, ‘Kenapa adik tak tunggu Abah. Adik mesti marah dekat Abah ni sebab Abah ingat boy yang keluar tapi cayang ucuk Fatimah Mardhiyah yang muncul.’ Even after four kids I was like a first time father and I love to have another go. Well, if only my wife is up for it…LOL
Holding her and smiling at her I just could not simply comprehend how some fathers could be so cruel toward their children. It is beyond me indeed. I guess they have to witness the whole thing to appreciate human being more. Public hospital should allow fathers into the delivery rooms.
I took my daughter to my wife and both of them looked wonderful and beautiful to me. I was blessed…..AllahuAkbar Alhamdulilah
That day the whole world smiled with me…………